Overboard
by Alffiee
Summary: In America things aren't always black and white. Living as a nurse in the Big Apple, Gemma finds traces of Kartik everywhere, making her wonder is he's still there. Gemma's patients cause her to return to the realms- next chapter in the works,promisee
1. Dreaming For Absolution

"_Don't_."

I clutch onto him for dear life, because I've no strength to do anything more at this point except keep holding on. I faintly hear my voice cracking with desperation.

He smiles at me then. Amidst all the hate and evil and _hopelessness _of our situation, he smiles at me and it is like the smiles of angels. I see my reflection in his eyes and suddenly neither of us has any recognition of anything around us, except each other.

"Now I know my destiny."

_No…hold on, hold on…_

I whisper back,

"What is it?"

"KARTIK!"

The room is spinning, and my stomach churns once again, the feeling is not a welcome one, I promise. I wake up drenched in sweat as I have countless nights before, every night the same thing, and always him.

"Foolish, _stupid_ girl." I whisper hoarsely, hugging my knees to my chest the words hang, suspended in the stillness of night. Blaming myself may seem like the childish thing to do, but I constantly regret that I let him slip away from me like that. Despite the cool wind blowing in through the one window of the apartment, the heat persists, and so does the ache in my chest.

_What good is having the power to change stones to rubies, rags to riches, ugliness to beauty…what is the _point_ of having all this power when I cannot change what I want most above all others?_

Fee's voice echoes in my head, telling me to be a strong, brave, young woman, and get a hold of myself, but I can't. America was to be the beginning of a new life, yet despite the distance I've put between me and everything I used to know, my past follows vigilantly.

I am still holding onto the boy in my dreams, and no one ever told me how to let go.

* * *

a/n: okay so after listening to alot of ingrid michaelson i think im going to make a story out of this..beholdd the introductory chapter! haha

tell me what you think?


	2. Breakable

New York proved to be a place of enchantment, almost the same as the realms. Every turn brought something my young eyes had never seen before, and I thought I had seen it all. You could get whatever you wanted if you could find it, be anything you wished, everyone banked on America for wishes like that, and it didn't let you down. You only had to pay the correct price.

This day starts out like many others and I compose myself before I leave. Maybe some would find it petty that I think this way, but each day I put my coat on along with my face. A face that's determined and unafraid. But don't judge me because people do it all the time. There are actresses who dazzle and motivate with just words, and in my line of work, people can receive reassurance by a simple smile, but it is- after all- an act.

Venturing out into the sidewalks of New York is surprisingly reminiscent of the streets in India on the craziest, busiest market-day. Busy lives orbit around me as I try to navigate my way down a block to which I catch a streetcar, or attempt to. My first try at hopping onto one failed miserably, on which I will spare anyone the details, but these days I'm adjusted. I grab onto the pole and watch the city go by. I close my eyes, but even my imagination can't change the smells and sounds of New York, to that of India's. I find that my memories of India are becoming dimmer, but I snap my eyes open, aware that I look like a nut trying to sleep standing up. Bugger.

I get off the bus and continue one more block, still squeezing through crowds.

"S'cuse me."

A burly man collides into my shoulder, and I should love to give him a swift kick to his large pot belly, but he doesn't apologize and I glare at his disappearing figure.

"You _better_ excuse yourself you big scud." I mutter to myself. The thing is with these people is that their eyes never seem to lift from the sidewalks, despite the countless people around them, they are only concerned themselves.

I fumble to pick up my supplies as the contents of my bag are now spilled everywhere. Reaching for my notebook, I raise my eyebrows as someone else picks it up instead.

"Scud? I should like to add _that_ one to my vocabulary."

My eyes venture curiously to see who this voice belongs to, but my eyes are blinded by the sun.

"Oh, you have a cut…" This person says it softly, and I glance at my hand and see that there is in fact a small scratch.

"I'm quite alright-"

He helps me up gently before I can finish talking and puts the book in my hand, dusting me off.

"Careful Gemma or you'll loose something _really_ important…"

Before I can thank him he's gone, I look around but no one is in sight now, I stand in the street by myself, clutching onto my book.

I didn't see his face, but he knew my name.

For some reason, I can't quite name, tears are now dropping onto my hands. The thing is…I did loose something important…and I didn't even realize it.

* * *

"Miss Doyle, the queen of Sheba herself! Look at you darling, late AGAIN."

I rush over to hang my coat on the hook as Mrs. Browning scolds me for being late for the fifth time this month, but she doesn't realize the journey that requires getting here.

"Don't we all got places to be? It's your shift and I got all kinds a people a'naggin on me 'cos no one bothered to tell ole Missus Browning where ya done an gone went. What keeps ya? Too much of a lady to get here on time?"

"Yess, Yes, Yes, No." I fire answers as the old bat prattles on. I shall strive to be a continous thorn in this woman's side if she pesters me like this forever. I shall sit there on her side and wave. Yes Mrs. Browning, Gemma Doyle down here, just here to remind you to stop getting your ratty knickers in a bunch.

And I would very much like to say it out loud, but unlike some, I have manners that prevent me from doing so. I tie my nurse's apron around my back.

"Right then, get yerself together and start making rounds dearie, got a new patient in today, room 214 I believe, check that he's comfortable, his daddy's paying a bit to make sure he is." Mrs. Browning said, glaring at me menacingly. Her use of pet names are ironic…it's almost as if her term of 'dearie' means 'get to work or I will kick your bum onto the sidewalk and do other horrible things to you.'

I keep this too myself also, and snap back to reality.

"What's his diagnosis?"

Mrs. Browning stares at me and walks away as if I hadn't said a word.

I hate this woman.

* * *

Hospitals do not have a great reputation. They are not a lovely place to get away to for a week or two. I ponder this as I walk slowly down the hall on the second floor, the large windows streaming in light. Yes, most often, I find that most associate hospitals with hopelessness, a place people go to die…but they are wrong. I see the hope that can be found here. People come in with, sometimes_, horrible_ situations, and the beauty of it is, that sometimes hospitals make it all go away. I must believe that people can turn out for the better, and when I do, and they walk out again, on their own two feet, it gives me hope that some things can be changed. I try my damndest to make it so.

_Tick, tack, tick, tack_…

My shoes echo on the floor as I near 214. The door is already slightly open, I lean against it and peek in, tapping on the door.

"Hello?"

Without waiting for an answer I open the door and see nothing but a single bed, the curtains drawn all the way around it.

_Someone_ has a need for privacy.

"Hello?" I repeat tentatively.

"Whose there?" A young voice demands curtly, I shake my head.

"Nurse D-Err, Gemma," I almost stutter, "I'm only here to check up on you…"

"Well, go' away."

It's possible that perhaps this child was in such a bad mood because he had some horrible ailment that made you into a boil-covered whiner. Or perhaps, he was related to Cecily Temple. Never the less, I took my chances and ventured toward the bed, and leaned against the bedrail.

"I simply wanted to see if you had any interest in lollipops…" I reached into the secret stash I carry with me for times like these. "You don't have to be such a ninny about it."

The curtain slowly slides open, and I can all but drop my jaw at the sight of this boy. He has no skin eating disease, no grotesque disfigurements…He had dark brown skin, and warm green eyes, small, and fragile and staring at me with no fear at all. I see the IV in his arm, but he looks so healthy I am confused to why he's here. I study him…he looks almost like…almost like…Kartik. There I've said it. I feel as if Kartik was younger, this would be him, and unable to help myself I give this little boy a smile.

"I…I do like them." He says, his wide eyes looking at me and then he raises his eyebrows, "What're you lookin' at?"

Incase you were wondering, yes I do realize it's impolite to stare.

"Sorry, you just remind me a lot of someone." I offer him a red one, a blue one, and a yellow one.

"Take your pick."

He reaches for the red one, not taking his eyes off me the whole time.

"You have an accent; you're not from around here are you?"

He pops the lollipop into his mouth, his front tooth is missing.

"Well, no one's really from 'around here, it's New York for Pete sakes, ever heard of Ellis Island?"

Also, I would rather not delve into all the other issues about my life. Oh yes, I came to America from London because the only boy I ever loved in life got eaten by a tree, and every time I turned the corner some other insane magical being was trying to eat me. Also I disliked the weather.

Me and him quietly look at each other, he sucks the lollipop quizzically.

"It's ok. I'm not from around here either, really. Me dad and mum are from India, but I was born here." He shrugs his shoulders, "Soo, I'm an American." He says this almost as if it's a question.

"You don't say." I say this lightly, but I do mean it. Out of all the patients that could come to me, he comes out of nowhere. Every second I blink, I almost feel as if Kartik will pop out and tell me, "Surprise! I'm not dead, and this is my brother!"

"I used to live there," I say, "It was a long time ago, though." I add quietly.

"Did you ride elephants? My Dad says he used to ride 'em all the time! And-and they were as big as mountains!" He grins mischievously at this, and I know I'm riling him up, which I probably shouldn't do, I nod to appease him.

"Those elephants aren't so scary close up; some are as tame as pussycats. It's the_ tusks_ you have to watch out for."

And so I commence to telling him all the details I knew about elephants, until quietly he starts drifting off to sleep. When his breathing becomes more settled, I fluff his pillows and lift the blankets around him. I never imagined, at Spence, that I would be here doing this kind of job and these kind of things. After all, how could a girl that couldn't even take care of herself, take care of others. I look at him sleeping, and I simply decide that I'll learn.

As I turn to go, I look on the clipboard hanging on the side of the bed.

"_Jaidav R., eight years old, ommitance, September 3__rd__, diagnosis, chronic leukemia."_

Leukemia? My heart sinks; I look at him again to make sure that my eyes aren't fooling me. All I see is a peaceful boy who doesn't seem like he'd even have the flu.

I place the clipboard back slowly, leaving the room. Life's usually not fair, sure, I should be the first to know that, but what did he do to deserve this? What do any good people do to deserve bad fates? My eyes water at the injustice of it all. As I lean against the wall in the hall, I am just another crying girl in a hospital full of crying people. I vowed that Jaidav would get the better end of this deal, and would walk out of this hospital just like everyone else. He had to.

* * *

slow again, ik sorry...still trying to feel my way around with it, not trying to make it toooo depressinnng haha

next chapter=more eventful . promisee!


	3. False Fragilty

As the days turned into weeks, I never faltered from Jaidav's side, as it turned out he was even more like Kartik then I had bargained for, as he gushed of his love for cricket at our countless visits that became regular. Yet, as much as I tried not to see it, his sentences became shorter, and his fits of laughter softer.

Leukemia was something I'd never planned to handle. I was just a stupid nurse who seemed to only be good for checking up on him, as doctor's continuously debated on what would be best for him, but I wanted to do more. If even these doctors where not sure, then what prevented me from doing a better job then them? I had studied, I went to school. It infuriated me and pained me to see him so. He had changed in such a short time due to his blasts from the sickness, his inefficient amount of red blood cells leaving him bruised, sick, and weak…and it only worsened. There would be an answer though.

"Gemma, do you ever miss India?" He asks me suddenly, snapping me out of my daydream, and I'm caught off guard. India was a sore subject for me, but he seemed infinitely curious about it, so I could only sigh and answer his questions. I'd grown soft for the little bugger, it seemed.

"Everyday," I admitted as I shuffled the cards in my hand as we began another game. "But it's much cleaner here, that's certainly a plus." I say jokingly at him, but when I do, he does not return my smile.

"I would've liked to see it." He says somberly, putting down his cards, he does not look at me.

"What a silly thing to say, considering you have nothing stopping you. We can go there! You and I, one day." I insist fervently, and I ruffle his hair, though it's thinner now.

"But I'm not stupid!" He pushes my hand away, and his chin juts out stubbornly. "I know that I'm sick, and mother say's I'll be fine and you say I will be fine…but-but," He begins to sniffle and as tears arise, he furiously hides his face in the crook of his elbows, trying to wipe them away. "I'm not stupid." He finishes stubbornly, refusing to say what I refuse to believe, the both of us persistently fighting this dim reality.

"Shh, shh..." I gently pull away his arm, but still he turns his head to hide the proof of his tears, I want to tell him it's okay to cry, but such a cliché would most likely make a boy his age even more upset. "Come on," I coax, "let me see that handsome face."

Reluctantly, he lets me wipe away his face with a small hanker chief.

Sometimes, there are just things that you have to do when someone needs you, despite if it's against your better judgment, despite what you've been told to believe, you just need to.

"Jaidav…what if there was a way you could see India right this moment? Would you like that?"

He raises his eyebrows.

"How would I do that? Mother says it would take months to go by ship, and I think she will notice if I'm gone for _that _long."

"Too true, but I know a way there that only takes moments. I think we can sneak it by her, if it's only for today." I wink, and his grin reappears suddenly.

"Really?" I nod, and he laughs eagerly.

"You just have to trust me, do you trust me?"

There is no hesitation in his answer.

"Yes."

I smile, and as I look around the room, I am filled with a nervous sensation that I was not accustomed to. I have not entered the realms since I had been there with Kartik, moreover, called the door of light, if I could still even do that.

I close my eyes, and suddenly the room falls away from me, the breath that fills my lungs is laced with power and my senses heighten, I had forgotten what the magic felt like, but it was still there, dormant, but there. I find it, and let it loose, and when I open my eyes, I see it. The familiar faint glimmer surrounds one of the windows of the room, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Jaidav come with me."

He takes my hand, and I slowly help him out of his bed, but he has to lean against me, sputtering a few coughs. It causes my pulse to quicken, and I wonder whether I am doing the right thing.

"Would you believe me if I told you India was just beyond this window?"

We stare out of the floor length window, looking out at the fall leaves of the courtyard, he looks at me doubtingly.

"I would call you a liar, because those are _trees_ Gemma." He stubbornly states, pointing as if I couldn't see.

"Well, we'll just see whose right about this one. Bet me?"

He considers it.

"Ok, bet."

I opened the window, and the two of us are engulfed in a new light, strange to me, until a familiar smell wafts to my nose, I keep my hold firm on Jaidav's small hand.

It was all silence for a moment, with an exception of Jaidav's ragged breaths, that slowly turned calm, and color flushed his face. Standing up straight, his eyes stared around in confusion. I try to pull him further along, but he resists.

"It's okay," I assure him, and slowly he follows, and I find myself in a clearing of the realms. They were just like I remembered, full of beauty, yes, but with a hint of sadness now. I saw faces then, faces of my mother, father, Fee, Pippa, Ann…crossing my mind like shooting stars, until a small voice brings me back to the present again.

"Where are the elephants?"

I laugh, and concentrate on the trees further ahead, magic blazing, I feel the shifting and changing of the land occur beneath my feet, and once I open my eyes again, there's a faint elephant call in the distance, and Jaidav smiles excitedly, I let him go as he runs towards the trees.

"Jaidav! Jaidav wait!" I laugh, picking up my skirts I run after him, and I feel my hair escape its ties, unfurling behind me like an unruly crimson flag.

Just through the trees there was a bustling market place made up from my very best memories of India. Jaidav is in wonder as the sights engulf him. A man charms a snake out of a basket, elephants walk down the streets carefully carrying precious goods, and the smells that filled the air were new, at least to him.

"Gemma look!" I turn my head to see Jaidav approaching a newborn elephant, his hands touching its trunk cautiously, though I would not let it hurt him.

We spend what feels like hours exploring this place made from my memories, and I answer all his questions, although it's not as easy as it sounds.

"What's this used for Gemma?"

"How come he has such a funny looking sword?"

"He just walked across coals! Like fire! Did you see that?!'

"They eat WHAT?!"

At this question, Jaidav reached for a morsel of food on a stand, and my hand quickly snapped out to stop him.

"I know it looks good, but it would be for the best if we did not eat anything here." I smile nervously at him, "Plus, I bet it tastes gross anyway."

He frowns for the first time all day.

"But…I'm _hungry _Gemma."

I sigh.

"Perhaps we should head back then."

I say this gently, but immediately he is heartbroken.

"Can we return soon?" He sniffs, and I pat his head.

"Don't look so down, of course." The promise slips out before I can help it. "If you keep moping, I'll just have to take Ms. Brown instead." I warn, and immediately he laughs and shakes his head.

"That's a punishment for _you,_ not _me_."

I shrug, and we go to leave, Jaidav runs ahead, and I watch him, amazed that the realms could be a place of happiness again.

The crowd slowly starts to disappear behind me, the illusion fading away, but not before a figure appears before me, causing my breath to stop short. It's as if time stops, and standing in the crowd ahead, amidst all the moving people, is Kartik.

Kartik.

He stays still, yet I cannot move towards him. I try to call out, but I have no voice and no idea what to do; only my eyes call out to him. As if he feels it, his eyes slowly turn to me, and he sees me. His eyes are just the same as I'd remembered them. I mouth his name, and he smiles at me.

Still running forward, Jaidav stops right in front of Kartik. Kartik's eyes slowly move away from mine and toward Jaidav, as he crouches down so that they're face to face. Though the crowd moves, I am not distracted. I watch as Kartik says something to Jaidav, causing him to laugh, and then Kartik stands, and pats him on his head, turning to leave.

The block moves, and I sprint toward Kartik's retreating back as he walks away, but the illusion is disappearing faster and faster and Kartik fades away with it. Before I know it, it's only me and Jaidav standing in an empty field again. And he's gone with the magic.

I stare out into the clearing as its Jaidav's turn to grab my hand.

"Let's go home."

I swallow my tears, and nod silently.

As we step back through the light, Jaidav's color slowly fades away again, and his breath just as shallow as before, I must carry him to bed.

I tuck him in as always, and as I turn to leave, he asks,

"Will I see you tomorrow Gemma?"

I smile at him.

"I'll be here. Get some rest, Jaidav."

He coughs, and closes his eyes looking pained.

That's when I realize that in the end, no matter how real it feels, an illusion is just an illusion.

He breathes in raggedly.

And, that there are some things that even magic can't fix.

* * *

Hii there! thank you for all the reviews! :)

I dont know tooo much about medicine back in Gemma's time era, but i'm going to do my best =P

Next chapter, i'm wondering what would happen if the Rakshana found out Gemma was taking Jaidav into the realms, and how they followed her to America?

And stay tuned for more Kartik :)))


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